Day 11 — Escapism

The media column in The Washington Post says it will watch so I don’t have to, but I want to watch.  American Idol, that is. Since being unemployed, my viewing habits have slipped into escapism and reality shows because there is always a loser bigger than you.

Americans are on my side, according to a recent poll by Nielsen. Despite turbulent times, we’re watching more, not less, TV, though broadband subscriptions are down (no new houses, no new subs). We’re watching more than 151 hours of TV per month, or six hours more per month than last year. That’s an all-time high.

That said, I can’t get into watching NBC’s hit reality show, The Biggest Loser, though my kids seem fascinated by obesity. But the fat people on The Biggest Loser aren’t nearly as obese as the 1,000-pound man on, I think, Discovery.

To see this one guy being moved off his bed like a pizza off a paddle and then onto a stretcher of some sort was freakish, especially when the camera didn’t turn away from an exposed ball, which kind of jiggled but not really.

Those hospital gowns can only cover up so much, but they’re probably made in China, and the people are pretty small there, so I’m not surprised the guy didn’t get proper coverage. But it (the ball) left me gasping about how huge it was and what the other part might have looked like. It was all I needed to see and think about before I changed the channel.

I wasn’t turned on: I was turned off. So, back to American Idol. I think Ryan Seacrest will host American Idol for as long as Pat Sajack has spun the wheel on Wheel of Fortune. And what happened to Vanna White? She doesn’t even have to turn the letters anymore because of technology, which I’ve come to believe is the New New Testament’s true savior. All she does is slink around in borrowed gowns and press buttons that light up letters in a clue, in case you’ve been out of touch or won’t admit to watching.

Now that the Bachelor is over, I’ve resorted to watching DWTS, a bad acronym (and show) for Dancing with the Stars. They’re not really stars but are making more money than me so I won’t trash them too much. Think NFL players and rejected bachelorettes.  The rest fade from memory, except for Apple co-founder Steve “The Woz” Wozniak, a major upgrade to the show and who I fear is about to get voted off for being a bad dancer.

Other than that, I don’t troll the TiVo looking for shows that my ex recorded, thinking that I’d watch them when bored. I don’t get bored watching TV: I fall asleep. Honk-shoe.

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