Girl on the Brink: Surviving Desperate Times with Desperate Measures

One of the many problems of being unemployed is leaving the house. You often feel compelled to work at your computer hoping to keep busy and discover a job opening that had escaped you earlier in the week. Before you know it, another day has passed, and it’s time to go home, which you’re already in, so you can just walk three feet for a quick nap in bed before the reality TV shows begin, which helps take your mind off your problems.

During cold weather, I feel even less inclined to leave my basement apartment. I live in a modest house that my ex and I jointly own. We both live there, even after the divorce. It sucks for developing a new relationship but fits the parameters for job hunting, which is space for a desk and computer. When we were a couple, we used to rent out the apartment. But during the course of our divorce, my soon-to-be-ex moved out and rented his own place. When he lost his job, he couldn’t afford the rent. I agreed to let him back into the house under a living arrangement called “bird nesting.”

The idea is that we occupy different parts of the house at different times, depending on whose turn it is to watch over the children. They just love the arrangement because their parents are always close by, even though there are supposed to be “boundaries” between me and my ex. The kids destroy that. My former husband is Jewish, and he always burns the bacon when the kids ask for it, so I rise to the main floor to cook when called upon.

I know this arrangement is weird. Many of my friends say they could never do it. You don’t know what you can’t do until you’re faced with stretching a dollar. So far, living like this has been okay. You sort of have to get along; otherwise life would be intolerable. I expect that one of us will move out when we regain economic equilibrium, which seems like a distant reality.

Let me just say the basement apartment is clean and tidy, if a bit dark. The studio-like feel is complemented by a flat-screen TV, kitchenette (just two burners), mini refrigerator and IKEA decor. I have a full, if small, bathroom with a shower (no tub). My closet is underneath the stairs that lead from the basement to the first floor. The walls are painted light oatmeal, and there’s a fake Oriental rug. The heat doesn’t work so well. To compensate, I use a Dyna-Glo portable propane heater supplemented by a small electric heater.

When the crickets arrive, I spread out pans of water, or let in the cats.