Girl on the Brink: Surviving Desperate Times with Desperate Measures

I am trying to analyze the true meaning of life, happiness, call it what you will, without crying. I am torn between two value systems that stand generations apart. One comes from my parent’s generation, which stands for permanence, the death do us part thing. The other is grounded in the values of today’s generation, where nothing is permanent and was never meant to be.

And that’s where I begin to cry because while I understand the latter, I still believe in the former. What’s wrong with permanence if it brings happiness and fulfills you from within? Is there a turning point that leads to the end of a job, or a relationship?

There has to be because they end, but I haven’t been able to figure out the turning point, or maybe I should call it the “tipping point” to be contemporary, because leaving a relationship and a job is rarely a mutual decision. One party becomes disaffected and pulls away, while the other party fights to keep the relationship or job going, even growing.

It was Hindu Prince Gautama Siddhartha, the founder of Buddhism, who said, “Nothing is permanent.” That belief apparently remained dormant up until the 1960s when the divorce rate began to climb. But, sorry, Buddhists.  Higher divorce rates weren’t because of Buddha; it was because of laws that allowed no-fault divorce.

In any event, when both parties pull away, be it an employer or a lover or both at the same time, we are left barren, naked, with nothing more than our inner self to bring us happiness, contentment and peace. Why is that so hard? Because we wrap ourselves into our work and relationship identities and our economic status that is built from these identities. They become a part of us, for better or worse, often for the worse.

How can we get love and work right, so we end up married for 60 years or receive the symbolic gold watch after 25 years of service? Researchers have studied this, and they say becoming less materialistic and feeling content with less are two important attributes for financial survival. Interestingly, these same attributes are what keep most people out of debt in the first place.

I bought a book on the topic of getting love right and am hoping to glean information I can adapt as to why I can’t get work right. But I have yet to open the manila envelope the book came in because my recent experiences in losing a job and my lover within a span of four months of each other has yet to settle in a way that I can begin to start anew.