Girl on the Brink: Surviving Desperate Times with Desperate Measures

Day 32 — Paperwork

I call the Income Administration Maintenance Service Center the unemployment office, but the DC government feels that it needs to provide a title that doesn’t make you feel like you’re poor. When you’re dealing with the government, it’s always something official. After filling out forms I had downloaded and gathering the required documentation, I thought how [...]

Bethesda, MD – 04/11/09 – Laugh Riot at the Hyatt

Day 31: Shoo, Debt Collector

So last night I was downstairs when I heard a knock on the door and then the rattle of the mail slot.  I thought oh, f—k, a process server. I can’t face it.  I ran upstairs to look out the window but couldn’t see anyone or a vehicle that might belong to them.  Filled with [...]

Day 30 1/2 — Ahoy! Overstock.com

All my friend needed to say when I asked him what I should bring for Antigua Sailing Week was not to look like a “rube.” Horrified that I would come off as a yokel, I immediately headed over to Overstock.com to stock up on the appropriate apparel, which included a good deck shoe, duffel bag [...]

Day 30 — Jobs + Love = Expiration Date

I am trying to analyze the true meaning of life, happiness, call it what you will, without crying. I am torn between two value systems that stand generations apart. One comes from my parent’s generation, which stands for permanence, the death do us part thing. The other is grounded in the values of today’s generation, [...]

Day 29 — Botox, Check; Briefcase, Check

I’ve decided to write a new book: Recruiters are from Mars, the Unemployed are from Earth. I can’t tell you how many unemployment columns I’ve read in the past few weeks that tell me I need to stop going online to find a job. The recruiters who write these columns say I should pick up the [...]

Day 28 — Willy Wonka Massage

Just as I bought my airline tickets (on credit) to go to Antigua for sailing week in late April, an email zinged into my mailbox. The subject line read, “Enter to Win! A Chocolate Spa Getaway Contest!” As usual, I read the rest of the promo too fast and skipped the fine print, which I’ll get [...]

Day 27 — Ahoy! Antigua

Protecting my mental health involves rationalizing why it is okay to spend money on things that I shouldn’t when I’m feeling down, and I’m feeling down. Being a Medicaid recipient, I could use my benefits to see a therapist, and it wouldn’t cost anything. Medicaid is great because the answer is always zero when I walk [...]

Day 26 — Homeless Sex

I’ve asked a lot of tough questions in my career as a journalist, but the question I posed today to Phillip, a homeless man, had to be the toughest. It took weeks for me to get up the nerve to ask it, and when I did I fumbled for words until I just blurted it [...]

Day 25 1/2 — That Wanted Feeling

I almost bought—on sale—a Hannah Montana karaoke contraption at Radio Shack today, but opted for the Plug ‘N’ Sing Karaoke system. It costs $10, compared to $69. At the checkout line, the clerk said, “I bought one of these for my son.” I nodded, thinking, lady, this one’s for me. She looked aghast when I turned [...]