Day 101 — Ann’s ‘Larger Voyage’

Misbehaving for Fun and WealthThe next time I get a job and get into trouble at work, I’m going to invoke the Bible and quote King David to cleanse me of my sins. If Mark Sanford, South Carolina’s naughty boy governor, can mention scripture to keep his job, then why can’t I? None of this “at will” job stuff.

As a matter of fact, I’m going to reference the same scripture as Sanford. His choice of words were so good. To wit,

“David failed, literally, and yet he constructed his life, put it back together and became a guy who was after God’s spirit. So I would say I’m on the larger voyage. I won’t say anything definitive. My hunch would be that it’s a good example with regard to my boys—if you fall down in life, that you get back up. I think it’s a good example from the standpoint of the larger voyage of humility.”

In case you’ve flown somewhere special to see your lover, Sanford confessed last week that he flew to Buenos Aires to make love to María Belén Chapur, 43, an executive with Bunge & Born, an Argentinian grain trading and food dynasty—behind his wife’s back.

I’m not sure quoting scripture will be good enough to redeem Sanford, but why should it matter, now that he’s become a “celebrity.” You can bet that NBC will come a callin’ to put him on that awful show, I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.  The show just ended with the crowning of you-don’t-see-him-anymore-actor Lou Diamond Phillips as the “king of the jungle.”

He beat 11 contestants, including Patti Blagojevich, who stood in for her husband and disgraced Illinois ex governor, Rod Blagojevich. A federal judge ordered him not to appear on the survival-style reality show set in a Costa Rican jungle because of his misbehavior. Blago’s dick didn’t make a bad decision like Sanford’s: His brain did when he got caught attempting to sell Barack Obama’s vacated Senate seat to the highest bidder.

So if Sanford does lose his job, I hope NBC will recruit both of us for I’m Unemployed, Get Me Out of Here. Since “here” is everywhere for us laid-off and fired folk, how about sending us to Chaco, the “majestic jungle” of Argentina. Chaco’s vegetation is interrupted by estuaries, lagoons, steamy rivers and what is known as “The Impregnable of Chaco.” Why, that’s got to be me. Hey, do me. Me, me, me…..tenga sexo conmigo!

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One Response to “Day 101 — Ann’s ‘Larger Voyage’”

  1. Didn’t you know that you can get out of anything if you happen to be a middle aged white male? I think it’s written into our Constitutional bylaws…

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