Girl on the Brink: Surviving Desperate Times with Desperate Measures

Day 94 — Too Old but Rich

ANN’S NOTE: The Host Our Coast winner went to a “budding” writer. So form triumphs over substance. What gives? Not even an interview. You never know the ins of job candidates. No worries on my part. Ann is going to make a big splash this summer. You wait! And, I’m not making that up. Today’s [...]

Day 93 — My Odd Jobs

I have a few deep dark secrets about some of my jobs. I interviewed for a position as a masseuse and learned that I’d need to give happy endings to the guys. I didn’t stick around. Most of my other jobs were mundane, typical college-girl jobs—waitress, bartender, secretary. After college, I was the weather girl for [...]

Day 92 — Sex, Drugs and the Internet

One of my favorite things about writing this blog is that I get to write about all my favorite topics—sex, drugs and the Internet—all necessary and addictive when you’re unemployed. I’m not having sex. Who would come over when I live with my ex, even if I have a separate basement apartment? I don’t take drugs. [...]

Day 91 — Ann Rises in Waco

Holy smoke! The Branch Davidians are back. Just what this down-trodden economy needs. Frightening, isn’t it? But mind what the experts say: Evangelicalism rises when the economy falls. The religious sect—burned out by federal authorities in a 1993 siege that claimed more than 80 lives, including 33-year-old cult leader David Koresh—has formed a rebuilding fund for the reborn [...]

Day 90 — You Can be an Ass for $$

I liked it better when longtime host of the Newlywed Game Bob Eubanks (God, he’s so old now) asked four newlywed couples silly questions, like this famous “whoopie” incident that occurred during a revival of the show in 1977. Among the contestants were a couple named Olga and Hank. EUBANKS: “Here’s the last of our five-point [...]

Day 89 — Fear or Rejection

No one has looked at my Millionnairematch.com profile in several days. I’m going to take it down when the pop-up reminder I’ve got set up in my Google calendar goes off; otherwise my $39 a month subscription will automatically renew. I’d rather have a mani and pedi for that. And no word from Bailout Bill on [...]

Day 87 — Wedding in Waco

I’ll be off today on one of my many glorious unemployment trips. This time to, flick your Bic please, Waco, Tex. Yes, the home of (and doesn’t this jump into your mind) religious sect leader David Koresh and his burning ranch of fire. Koresh died along with many of his followers when the FBI sieged his [...]

Day 86 — Always Fresh Legal Advice

I emerged from my apartment dwelling to see a lawyer. Financial problems also create legal troubles. I feel hounded by them. First, I grappled with the legal issues of my divorce. Now, my ex-lawyer is after me for not paying him the thousands of dollars he thinks he deserves. I want justice, too, and that’s why [...]

Day 85 — Networking at the Gym

I knew this was absurd career advice when I read it in my local newspaper, but I followed it anyway. I got to my gym at 8 AM on the dot in order to network. That’s right; the career counselor who was quoted said your gym is good place to network for a job. She said [...]

Day 84 — No Free Quotes

You know the country is desperate when heirs of Martin Luther King start charging to use his quotes. I’m not making this up, but another unemployed friend quoted King in a magazine article she submitted to a small publisher. Her editor asked her to get permission to use the quote. My reporter friend called Dr. King’s [...]