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Archive | July, 2009

Day 130 — The Business of Cards, Condoms

Friday, July 31, 2009

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Day 130 — The Business of Cards, Condoms

Old business cards are like old condoms. At some point, you throw them away. I’m not talking about used condoms. That falls under the category of Eeeew. They’re disposed of immediately, sort of like the Dutch-date guy. I’m talking about carrying around condoms in your purse and not using them. Like just about every other […]

Day 129 — It’s Raining Men

Thursday, July 30, 2009

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Day 129 — It’s Raining Men

I resented learning Salesforce, the contact management system, in my last job. I liked the way I managed my own contacts, and I didn’t need access to anyone else’s. It was like taking physics in high school. I mean, am I ever going to really need to know this? So, while I was going through […]

Day 128 — The Paperless Romance, Office

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

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Day 128 — The Paperless Romance, Office

It was a dream in the 1970s to create the world’s first paperless office where information moved with electrons and people didn’t have to print things out. But it didn’t work out that way, even with all the electronic gizmos on the market today. However, the paperless romance is alive and well, or should I […]

Day 127– A La Carte Men, Jobs

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

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Day 127– A La Carte Men, Jobs

Republicans are a lot like Englishmen: They’re buttoned up in the boardroom but kinky in the bedroom. Democrats, from my experience, are kinky all over, and Libertarians are just plain paranoid. This is a sampling of the kind of men I’ve dated on the political spectrum. Some for the long term and some not lasting […]

Day 126 — Not Always the Real Thing

Monday, July 27, 2009

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Day 126 — Not Always the Real Thing

When you’ve been unemployed for as long as I have—eight months—you begin to become more creative with substituting things for products aimed at producing a specific result. Take the common household fly, for example. An insect that I’d rather not have flying around in my basement apartment bathroom. I foolishly thought I could sear it […]

Day 125 — As Luck Would Have It

Sunday, July 26, 2009

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Day 125 — As Luck Would Have It

When my Lucky Brand jeans get unzipped, there’s a strategically placed label half-way down on an inside flap that says, “Lucky You!” While I can’t show you, and you’d have to get to know me better, I can spread some lucky dust on you in the form of free concert tickets. Between July 31 and […]

Day 124 — Dedication

Friday, July 24, 2009

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Day 124 — Dedication

There are questions in most interviews designed to get you on your knees, metaphorically speaking.  The interviewer wants you to say how much commitment you will have to your new job, if you get picked. Will you work late and on weekends to meet deadlines?  Will you travel as necessary?  Will you come in early […]

Day 123 — Sweeping Ann Off Her Feet

Thursday, July 23, 2009

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Day 123 — Sweeping Ann Off Her Feet

I have never waited 10 dates to have sex with a man, but this time I’m going to do it because my girlfriend says it’s the right thing to do. The relationship is supposed to last longer. But 10 dates seems like a long mini courtship to me. This scenario reminds me of interviewing for […]

Day 122 — Bad Jobs = Bad Dates

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

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Day 122 — Bad Jobs = Bad Dates

Bad job interviews are like bad dates. You exchange pleasantries and then the interview, or date, begins to go south. Good thing is that you’ll be able to leave, under both circumstances, when it’s time to go. It was time for me to go last night when I had an impromptu date. I wouldn’t call […]

Day 122 — Ooh La La

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

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Day 122 — Ooh La La

The life counselors and advisers to those of us who are unemployed tell us to find our central asset and make that the foundation for our new life. So what’s mine? Style. I work hard at being stylish. It makes me happy and is one of the most important aspects of my persona. But what […]

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