Girl on the Brink: Surviving Desperate Times with Desperate Measures

The life counselors and advisers to those of us who are unemployed tell us to find our central asset and make that the foundation for our new life.

So what’s mine? Style.

I work hard at being stylish. It makes me happy and is one of the most important aspects of my persona. But what would I do to make myself more stylish?

I guess I could become French. That would help.

Everything that is French resonates with style, even when it is not, and the French remain strong in luxury goods. The overall performance of Moet Hennessy Louis Vuitton, the world’s leading luxury group, was resilient during the first quarter given the severe global downturn.

French stuff also seems enduring. Take, for example, French Fries, French Toast, the French Poodle, and Alexandre du Paris, a hair salon in Fairfax, Va. I mention Alexandre because his ad popped up on my video screen yesterday while I was working out at my gym.

I doubt if Alexandre is French, though he looked the part. In the ad, he wore a well-coiffed ponytail even though he was losing his hair at the temples, suit jacket with a open-collared shirt and a big rock on his finger.

And, why let the facts stand in the way that French Fries, toast and the poodle are not rooted in French culture. After all, isn’t perception more important than reality when you’re trying to win someone over, like a potential boss?

The first thing I’d do is change my name to Ann Pouvoir. I’d also learn a bit of a French accent. As Ann Pouvoir, I could teach Americans to be more stylish. I could teach an old business to come hip. But could I teach Republicans to like France? Je ne sais pas. Vous me dire.

What I could also do is become style candy. I could go to events and look fabulous. I think wearing something with a lot of cleavage would work for me—and, oh, let’s not forget the silk stockings held up by a garter belt.

Since I don’t speak French, I don’t think I’d say very much. But I don’t think anyone would mind.