Day 138 — Obligation

HealthI put my money in the jar when someone in the office is collecting money to buy a wedding gift for the HR girl, even though I’m totally broke, just a temp and don’t know her name.

I’ll even go with rest of the staff for a lunchtime pizza party to celebrate the birthday of some guy in IT. In that case, I don’t even eat the pizza. I’m just there out of a sense of social obligation. I should try to be a part of the work family, even if it is just a foster work family.

My home life is also pretty confused these days when it comes to obligations.

No, I really do not want to go to the park, or the pool, with my ex and my children. I really want to go the air conditioned gym and tone up my thighs. They need the attention more than my kids, but who could ever admit such a thing? Just kidding.

My ex will do just fine caring for the kids, and better he should care for them, and I care for my thighs than the inverse. Just kidding. But I usually go.

They want to eat at their favorite diner, which serves food that both tastes bad and is bad for you. I go. Easier than arguing.

My ex argues that I am obligated to fold the clothes, help with the landscaping and home repairs, put my bike away and other things that I would otherwise consider reasonable. Coming from him, though, my sense of obligation has been suspended.

Having him being hostile toward me isn’t enjoyable. But soon after we start getting along again, he’ll lust after me and that’s probably just as burdensome. Yes, okay, I have obligations to you, I think, but sorry, I’m just not going to worry it. The cost of honoring those obligations and the cost of ignoring them is about the same.

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