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Day 152 — Self-Employed, Self-Love

Good TimeHaving sex by yourself isn’t any fun. Okay, maybe for a brief moment, but there’s never any feedback. I feel the same way about being self-employed.

Toiling away in my basement apartment as I write Girl On the Brink, it’s just me, the crickets, and a grouchy ex husband. They—meaning the crickets—are in season now, as is the oven-hot heat. If it weren’t for your comments, I’d spend way too much time by myself.

I have, however, been liberated for a short time and don’t spend so much time by myself or in my basement apartment, which is even darker because three recessed lights burned out, and I haven’t bothered to replace them yet.

My out-of-the-house adventures take me to an office where I make a a few bucks editing. But the best thing about it is that I don’t have to confront my ex, whom I live with. But good news! After nine months of unemployment, he just got a four-month contract job that pays real nice.

Unfortunately, his attitude toward me hasn’t changed; he still treats me with disrespect, and our channels of communication have completely broken down, thanks to my therapist.

You see, I see a therapist to help me protect my mental health, and one way I do that is not to read his email. He sends me so many emails during the day and always inserts a snarky comment about my personal life, which is none of his business now that we’ve been divorced for almost a year. He just can’t help it.

Despite his pissy attitude, I am thrilled he found work that pays well and genuinely hope his new job will help him rebuild his self-confidence. He deserves to get his life back on track, as do I. I also hope that he finds another woman to love and grow with.

I don’t know what he wishes for me. I wish I could say the same.

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One Response to “Day 152 — Self-Employed, Self-Love”

  1. Carmie says:

    So sad that your husband treats you with such disrespect. Does he do this in front of the kids? I hope not. Keep your head up. This too shall pass, so “they” say.

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