Day 156 — ‘Ch-ch-ch-chia!’
Tue, Sep 1, 2009
The purpose of Girl On the Brink is to embrace, not alienate.
Yet, sometimes I feel I alienate because others think I’m a snob. But I’m not.
Nonetheless, I don’t know what some of my male suitors are thinking when they email me like a bolt from the blue. Honestly, I don’t know how they find me on these online dating sites. I’m never listed in the “top 25 females” and frankly don’t want to be because the pictures that put them there seem kinda slutty to me.
Moreover, I really think that my future relationship will be with someone who’s in my desirable geographic location, or DGL. I mean, when I look for a job, I don’t want to schlepp to the hinterlands of Woodbridge, Va., or Gaithersburg, Md., especially if it’s not on a Metro line.
Ann’s Refresher Course: She lost her car, an aging Volvo, before the big holiday of Saint Nick in 2008 and has been unable to replace it. Someone kareemed into her car and fled, leaving her to deal with the aftermath.
In any event, keeping transportation time down to a minimum is important.
Second, if you’re not qualified to take me out, then don’t ask. And, this is where the alienation piece comes in. Okay, I’m not perfect, and I’ve made several mistakes in my past that I regret but which I haven’t repeated. I mentioned this before, but I gained a lot of weight (50 pounds) when I was in my 30s and felt miserable. That was more than 20 years ago, and I ain’t repeatin’ that one. I emphasize completely with anyone who’s had a weight problem.
But look at me now. I don’t think I have one, and I don’t want to date someone who tells me that he has gained a lot of weight after a bad breakup. Someone in that situation needs to unpack the pounds, not for me but for themself.
I understand that it’s not easy. Do you think I enjoy going to the gym or pool three to four days a week? I don’t. I’d rather sip a Pinot Noir on the deck, but I exercise instead because it makes me feel better. To continue the analogy, do you think I enjoy working more than a 9-to-5 job? Not really, but I’ve done (and will still do) it if there is upside to the downside.
Third, I’m seeking a certain quality in my life that can only be afforded by securing an executive position, which I’m qualified for and am close to getting. So, I don’t want to work as a secretary or in a bar, just like I don’t want to live in a rickety old wooden houseboat because it’s “romantic” (yah, on the first night). A 54-footer works with a detailed, wooden interior. And, if it’s bigger, with a crew, well, I can deal with that.
While money can’t buy you love—or a job—it can buy happiness, to a point. The two are as intertwined as the roots of a Wisteria vine and create sacrifices when one predominates. Will you seek (gamble on) love or keep your money? For many guys, greener pastures lie with their wallet, not with their heart.
Tags: job search, money woes, rejection, relationships
You are a very clever girl! I have no doubt you will land on your feet. Seems like you could be selling excerpts from your blog to magazines. I know girls just want to have fun but Cosmo or Redbook or somebody should be interested in a intelligent look at barely getting by. Nobody cares about men who hit the skids but a woman’s perspective is bound to be interesting.
Oh, I do care about what happens to men, and I think it must be much worse because of the societal construct that women expect men to “take care of them.” While I’m not a 50-50 girl, I give when I can, though I’m not counting dollars, though I’ve been out with some men who do. They say they feel “used.” Why when the economic disparity is so great between me and them. Under that scenario, I think there’s something more going on. If only men could communicate better.