Day 162 — If Einstein Were Alive
Wed, Sep 9, 2009
If I were Einstein, I’d forget that whole e equals mc squared thing and postulate theories on what people really care about—money and sex.
According to researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University, 54 percent of men think about sex several times a day. But, do they get any and under what circumstances?
I believe a correlation exists between between a man’s income and how easy it is for him to get laid. Given this nation’s soaring unemployment rate, I bet men are becoming increasingly frustrated.
To test my theory I need research subjects—men—who would be willing to answer this question honestly: How hard is it for a guy to get laid? I’m sorry that I won’t be able to conduct gold-standard research—the double-blind study, which would provide quantitative information to prove my theory.
You’ll have to rely on a small sample size, from the managing director of a private wealth management firm to a laid-off professional to a homeless man. In scientific circles, researchers call this qualitative information. Of course, you’ll have to factor in mitigating factors, such as geographic location and appearance.
Phillip: "The 'V' costs."
First, let me re-introduce you to Phillip, a homeless man who has been a fount of information for Girl On the Brink (See Homeless Sex and The Business of Cards, Condoms. Hey, don’t click away yet.)
Phillip agreed to answer my question while standing outside the CVS in Northwest Washington, D.C., selling Street Sense, a tabloid about the homeless. You’ll have to overlook Phillip’s Dr. Seuss Hat. I don’t know what he stashes in there to make it so erect, but I don’t think it’s a cat.
“It’s easier to get laid if you’ve got money,” Phillip said. “The vagina costs.”
O-k-a-a-a-y, thank you Phillip.
Next, I turn to a managing director of a Wall Street firm. He told me that it had been so long that he was ready to re-apply for his virginity.
Hmmm, now he’s not helping my theory. Makes a lot of money; not having very much sex. Maybe an anomaly.
As for the unemployed professional, he said you have more time and thus more opportunity. However, he agreed with Phillip that money matters.
Tags: employment musings, relationships
As a rule I under-represent my income to women. If they want to make love to my wallet then I am not interested in that woman. That was a lesson learned long ago and I vowed never to put myself in the same situation again. It has worked. I have been blessed with very sincere and loving partners ever since.
With regards to the high price of pussy, I agree, but it is not always financial. The real price is in terms of freedom. After six years of being single, it is harder than ever (pun intended) to give up the ability to answer to no one that I enjoy now. I know a number of single women who say that the price of dick is similarly too high. One summed it up with: “The longer you are single, the longer you will be single.”
Cheers, and good luck in your search.
Brad, I agree, but I’d like to emphasize that a woman’s attraction to a man is more than a thick wallet; it’s a package that includes intellectual passions, physical attraction and enjoying to share. I think we often focus too much “the money.” I am happy with myself, and if I’m so lucky to find my “package” so much the better. –Ann
My dearest Ann,
If it were just about “sex” then all of us would be very busy.