Girl on the Brink: Surviving Desperate Times with Desperate Measures

Office appearance and behavior has changed since the recession.

People are going into work earlier and staying later, which means that something’s gotta give. That something has got to mean that people are spending less time in the bathroom.

Years ago I knew a guy who spent a  lot of time in the bathroom before going to work. When he came out, he didn’t look any different than when he went in. I don’t know what guys do in the bathroom—brush their teeth, shave, flick the comb a few times through their hair, if they have any left.

As for girls, that’s a different matter. There’s the makeup, hair styling, decision time over choosing a perfume and from thousands of little bottles of cream, and on and on. At least girls smell nice when they come out, and presumably look peacock-perfect, if that’s your thing.

As people move through the day, whatever they did in the morning has faded like a pair of blue jeans. While some might say that office appearance doesn’t matter as much, I’d say it matters more.

With an increasing number of people taking jobs that they’re over qualified for, they need to dress for the job they want, not the job they have. When I temp, I’m mindful of my appearance and that includes what goes underneath.

Women, in my humble opinion, could do themselves a favor by getting fitted for a good bra. You want everything facing forward, not flattened out to the sides. As you stand to attention for your boss, they will, too.

The secret: Buy a bra one size too small and that will squish everything together. You also need a very good bra—think Chantelle. Once you buy one of those, it’s hard to go back to Victoria’s Secret.

For men, I’d say stop tucking in that Izod on casual Fridays. Just doing that will shave a good five years off your looks. And, get a good haircut. Leave the “comb over” for the rooster.

Now, cock-a-doodle-doo—get up. It’s time to look for a job.