Girl on the Brink: Surviving Desperate Times with Desperate Measures

I live in a constant and fluctuating state of disorganization.

My life on the brink stems from a disproportionate ratio of fear and lack of executive functioning skills.

Look, I’m just being honest.

I pretend to be highly organized, and, in many respects I am. The books for my volunteer-run nonprofit are in tippy-top order, and I use a password manager (Roboform) to keep my too-numerous-to-count accounts in order.

I’ve even printed out all the account passwords in the event something bad happens to my computer, such as knocking over a vodka tonic on the keyboard. That happened once. I immediately turned over my computer like a tent and switched on my hair dryer, thinking I’d dry out the damage.

That was just wishful thinking.

I once had a safe deposit box, and that worked until it came time to renew it. I didn’t have enough money and brought everything home. I found a cool spot to store my private stuff. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you because my ex, whom I live with, reads my blog, and I wouldn’t want him to discover my hiding place.

Sometimes, I purposely stick important papers in folders that are marked for something else. I never know when my ex might sneak downstairs to my basement apartment and start rifling through things. He’d never think to look in a folder, called Household Repairs, for the love letters I keep.

Trouble is, I forget which folders I’ve stuck them in when I need to find them. I compound the problem by inadvertently creating multiple file folders with the same name.

I also do that on my computer. I don’t remember where I saved something and create the same folder, but it now has a different directory path.

All that really confuses me.

I’ve also put important papers in various jacket pockets and then forget all about them until months later when I stick my hand in a pocket and find them. By that time, the information is too old and worthless. I’ve updated it somewhere else, which I’ve put in yet another pocket.

I seek more organized days ahead. Certainly having my own digs would help. But I also think I need a guy who’s better with a spreadsheet than a bed sheet because I don’t think I’ll ever excel at Excel.