Girl on the Brink: Surviving Desperate Times with Desperate Measures

We work because we have to. We make love because we want to, and we procreate because we feel the need to.

Simply defined, we multitask.

Why can’t we reset the dial and return to times before the word multitask entered the lexicon of our language?

Own a dog or cat? You don’t see Mittens hunched over in her litter box while sewing the eyes back on her fake mouse like office bees shovel food in their mouths as they type at their computer?

When I grew up, Mom didn’t have a Blackberry, or any kind of cell phone for that matter, and she didn’t own a computer. In fact, I don’t think she can even type. She went about her business in a powder-blue Chevy station wagon and communicated with a rotary telephone. After dinner, she retired to the family room to watch one of three broadcast channels—ABC, NBC or CBS.

Then, lights out, and the routine of her day returned with the rise of the sun.

My life as a mom has a different ringtone. I own a Blackberry and pine for an iPhone but can’t afford it. I really can’t afford my Blackberry but terminating my service would cost $600 because it’s tied to two other cellphones, one for each of my kids who are not even teenagers.

At home, I have two computers—a laptop and a virus-infected desktop, which would be a great computer for surfing porn since nothing bad can happen to it anymore. Any takers? My children also have their own computer, and I’ve lost count on the number of TVs in the house.

I don’t watch much TV, except for some of the reality shows when I need to escape but can’t get away to some far-off sailing nirvana.

Heck, I couldn’t even make it to the U.S. Sailboat show in Annapolis, Md., earlier this month. While I could have afforded the $35 VIP ticket (totally worth it, I’ve read), I don’t have a car to get there (got totaled in a hit and run).

Yes, well, I’ve now got to blow dry my hair, pack lunches and haul up my bike from the basement to ride to the doctor’s office. Not exactly multitasking, but I’m busy as hell living the unemployed life, just like if I had a job.