Girl on the Brink: Surviving Desperate Times with Desperate Measures

Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, for the first annual Girl on the Brink list of what’s in and out for 2009.

That’s right. If you’re not working, you’re jerking (off), or is that making your own beef jerky. I wouldn’t have known.

No turkey for Christmas, and you can’t afford lamb. Forget the HoneyBaked Ham. Time to glaze your own.

We should all be so lucky to be billionaire golfer Tiger Woods. He may have put himself in a position (okay, maybe a few) that has cost him some endorsements, but he’s not out on the street with a couch by the curb because of an eviction.

While some people say you should be thankful for your health, I say millions of American still pine for wealth.

So your “in list” may be my “out list,” but if there’s one thing we can agree on let it be more sex before text! Yahoo! Who cares what that means. But if you can’t figure it out, then it’s time you read Ann’s List.