Girl on the Brink: Surviving Desperate Times with Desperate Measures

I got my hair cut yesterday.

As usual, my hairdresser is never ready when I arrive. He’s either doing a last snip on a bob or blow drying locks.

He was finishing up a short one while I browsed through a magazine I no longer buy—Cosmopolitan.

Yeah, I can afford Cosmo, but why buy it when I can glean useful information between a hair cut and blow dry.

Cosmo is all about exploring your sexuality and not being self-conscious about letting yourself go.

I’ll tell you what this all has to do with unemployment in a sec.

Once in a while, Cosmo throws in a dose of science to further break down walls of inhibition. I mean, if it’s good science then there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, right? Take, for instance, a woman’s ho-ha. Am I spelling, saying, that right? Maybe hoo-ha?

Well, you get the picture.

If you don’t, pick up the recent issue of Cosmopolitan with hottie Amanda Bynes on the cover, decked in powder pink for the New Year.

Underneath the “Hoo-Ha Handbook” heading, the subtitle read, “Get a Sexy, Healthy Vagina,” or something like that.

I don’t think I’ll be able to recall everything I read because I felt too guilty to rip out the pages like I’ve done when I see a good recipe.

I do remember that exercising your hoo-ha is good for it. I’m not talking about sitting to pee and doing isometric exercises to tighten it, though the article did mention that, too.

I’m talking about the importance of constant sex, which Cosmo always says is a good thing.

Just think if we could apply the same principles to unemployment—exercising your unemployment options to stay young, vibrant and sexy.

Yahoo!