Day 239 — Happy New Year

Happy New YearTonight is New Year’s eve, and my ex, the bold one that he is, has already left to spend the next few days with someone he has only met online.

I say, “Bad move.” But how can I begrudge him a little hanky panky.

I’m also getting out of town. But I’ll be with someone I’ve known for a while.

The kid’s pregnant babysitter is coming over to take care of them. I’ve left a bottle of apple-grape sparkling juice in the fridge for them to watch the famous New Year’s Eve Ball descend from the flagpole in Times Square. I even  whipped up a batch of glazed sugar cookies and made cinnamon rolls with frosting.

This is the third New Year’s I’ve been away. I don’t want to recall last year’s because I was with the guy in California who dumped me. I decided to google his name to see what he’s been up to.

I can say with conviction that even though I have it rough and am under financial stress, it sure beats fighting a custody battle over a 4-year-old love child at the age of 64.

His story in a pecan shell: Sixtyish-something retired millionaire picks up 30-something African chick on the sidewalk in South Beach. Affair ensues and so does a pregnancy. His wife files for divorce. Marriage ends, and African chick digs in gold heels to extort him.

She won’t work, despite a college degree. African chick then files suit to move back with toddler to live with her mom in New York City.

She loses and now has taken her case public with a website and petition to free her from Marin County. She’s got to be his worst nightmare.

I’m glad I’m not part of that relationship anymore.

Moral: If you plan to get loose tonight and ring in the New Year with some hanky panky—use protection, whether you’re unemployed or a millionaire.

That said, let’s re-visit my ole’ homeless pal Phillip for condom-buying advice on the best brands. See On the Job, On the Prowl Advice.

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One Response to “Day 239 — Happy New Year”

  1. This guy deserved exactly what he got. He is reaping what he has sewn.

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