Day 241 — Conveyor Belt of Jobs

Conveyor Belt of LoveEvery time I watch broadcast TV, it bobs to a new low.

Monday, on ABC, has apparently become “‘Marry Me” day, with a line up of The Bachelor followed by the new Conveyor Belt of Love (the new low).

Don’t let your imagination run away from you as the men do as they literally move down a human-size convey0r belt (what do you think that cost?) before four women raise a paddle that says “Interested” or “Not Interested” after the guys—one by one—seek to impress the ladies in less than 30 seconds.

This is when 30 seconds really count, when your masculinity is about to get skewered.

I think the networks are on to something. If Monday is Marry Me day then why can’t we have Hire Me Tuesday? The networks can use the same silly antics.

A casting director would pick a potential pool of job seekers who would be given a chance to impress a panel of hiring managers. They’d also have about 30 seconds to say or do whatever they think will resonate with the managers.

The hiring managers would also have paddles that said “Interested” and “Not Interested” rather than “You’re Hired!” I mean, what if the person turned out to be really weird, not like they aren’t already.

Once all of the managers picked a potential hiree, they would then take them out on dates as the ladies do on Conveyor Belt of Love. Nothing too involved or what happens on The Bachelor, which is high-seas fantasy, such as using a Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-type sailboat, compared to a 30′ sloop on the cheaper-costing Belt reality show.

We’d see snippets of their date-for-hire dates to see if there was a “job connection.” If that turned out to be the case, they’d be on their own to pursue more interviews, presumably in a more office-type setting rather than on the winking seas on a hot, sunny afternoon.

The end is rather predictable, so I’ll leave it to your imagination on what it would feel like to move down a conveyor belt like a hunk of meat and be inspected by people who will determine your fate.

That doesn’t seem too far off from reality in these modern economic times if you do have a job, now does it?

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