Fri, Feb 5, 2010
That’s because snow presents serious questions.
The bigger the snowstorm, the more serious the questions.
There are job-related questions: Will my office close? Will I get to leave early? Should I work like crazy and get as much work done as possible, or should I take it home?
I see parallels between that last question and my dating life. Should I go out tonight and get as much sex in as possible, or should I cancel and wait for another opportunity?
I can’t take sex home because I’m trapped in my house with my ex husband (recession victims who can’t afford separate digs). The only sex I can take home is me, and I think I can do better than that, though I am a lot of fun!
So, what to do?
I feel good about boiling my life down to simple pleasures because it really does come down to work and sex. Yes, I know we need to eat, and there’s plenty of time for that, too.
We wouldn’t have TV reality shows such as The Biggest Loser if people could keep their hands out of their mouth. We also wouldn’t need Planned Parenthood if people practiced abstinence (god forbid). And we wouldn’t need jobs if we lived like aborigines or were Paris Hilton.
But life is only simple in our minds.
In reality, life is complex and complicated. Why am I still living with my ex husband? Why are my tween boys challenging authority and playing video games for hours on end? Why don’t I go home to see my aging parents? Why can’t I save enough money to move? Why are fires romantic (They seem a lot of work to me.)? Why do I have a lipstick fetish?
As the snow falls, Ann will think big as she reaches for her Bluetooth vibrator and a hot buttered rum as her mind drifts from reality to what really matters—the simple pleasures in life. Won’t you join her?