How Low Have You Sunk?

Do you repeatedly stab little squares of cheese with a toothpick from the sample tray at the grocery store? Worse?

Share your shame with me at ann.powers@girlonthebrink.com.

  • Spraying more spiders with Rusk thickr hairspray and watching them recoil.
  • Thinking about having eight kids—then I can join that Kate gal and Octomom and get on the cover of In Touch Weekly magazine. That’s got to be worth something.
  • I used my food stamp card and bought the Enquirer at the same time. I did it to read about actor Burt Reynolds going broke. But I bought the wrong tabloid—distracted by supermodel cellulite pictures on the cover. Sorry, Ann doesn’t have the scoop about Burt.
  • I bought Us Weekly on account of the cover story, Dumped, humiliated, broke & crying: ‘Everyone’s turned on me.’ Sounds like the average American worker, but, no, it’s whiner actress Lindsay Lohan, who professes, “I am so alone.” Yo, Lindsay, join the crowd.
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