I can’t think of a more boring job than to sit on a chair in a lady’s locker room and make sure people don’t steal other people’s stuff. The security guards who rotate at a new aquatic center in Northwest Washington, D.C., look bored, dressed in battleship gray and black. The only thing that sparkles is [...]
Sunday, September 13, 2009
My underwear disappears like pencils in an office coffee mug. I swear they should be in a particular drawer but somehow they end up in another. I get so embarrassed when I leave them in the dryer because there’s an oft chance that my ex might find them when it’s his turn to do the wash. And [...]
Friday, September 11, 2009
Office appearance and behavior has changed since the recession. People are going into work earlier and staying later, which means that something’s gotta give. That something has got to mean that people are spending less time in the bathroom. Years ago I knew a guy who spent a lot of time in the bathroom before going [...]
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
If I were Einstein, I’d forget that whole e equals mc squared thing and postulate theories on what people really care about—money and sex. According to researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University, 54 percent of men think about sex several times a day. But, do they [...]
Thursday, September 3, 2009
ANN’S NOTE: Ann lands a national TV interview on FOX Business Happy Hour, Friday, Sept. 4, between 5:20 and 5:30 PM EST. Miss it? Catch her on Labor Day, Monday, Sept. 7 at 10:45 AM EST on the Louisiana Radio Network (WRKF), an NPR affiliate. Read the press release that got her the gigs. Jobs end abruptly, as [...]
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
As I stepped onto the subway platform at the Bethesda Metro stop, I glanced up to read the screen that displays arrival and departure information. “Expect delays…to Glenmont.” I walked to my spot and waited for my train to arrive. And then it hit me. Delays. Life is a continual cycle of delays, involving deliveries, accidents, checkout [...]
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Life is all about Yin and Yang. You see, Yin is this 3-foot-tall little Chinese gal who’s also known as Yellow Woman. Yang is not much bigger but hails from the hinterlands of North Dakota and wears lots of feathers. Think Hiawatha. Some people call him Red Man. Together, they created the Orangemen of Syracuse University. Just kidding. Nonetheless, [...]
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Having sex by yourself isn’t any fun. Okay, maybe for a brief moment, but there’s never any feedback. I feel the same way about being self-employed. Toiling away in my basement apartment as I write Girl On the Brink, it’s just me, the crickets, and a grouchy ex husband. They—meaning the crickets—are in season now, as [...]
Friday, August 21, 2009
New game: Operation Obama. Object: Remove body parts to reduce debt and pay back the taxpayers. What body parts could President Obama live without? I’ve been giving this a lot of thought, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the body parts should come from Goldman Sachs chief executive Lloyd Blankfein. Obama has got some money, and [...]
Thursday, August 20, 2009
You’ve heard this advice from career counselors: If you’ve been unemployed for a while, now is the time to reinvent yourself. Well, that’s sort of what Girl On the Brink is doing. But I’d rather splash a drop of Yosh’s White Flowers perfume between my breasts as I type on my keyboard with a glass of pinot [...]
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Wednesday, September 16, 2009
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