How you cheat is your business, but you can’t deny the impulse. For me, I’d never steal from a store. Too risky, and the punishment is real, unlike what’s happened to the corporate pirates on Wall Street. A stupid college friend of mine got caught shoplifting at a G.C. Murphy five and dime (now out of business). [...]
Thursday, May 28, 2009
ANN’S NOTE: A reader pointed out that the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing is run by the U.S. Department of Treasury, not the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, which is what I had originally written. This fact has been corrected in the copy below. If you ever want to feel like a kid [...]
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Often, you can do today what you could put off until tomorrow. Like last week I dreaded calling the DC tax office to see whether I could convince one of its customer service representatives to extend the deadline for paying my property taxes. They come due twice a year, in the spring and fall, and [...]
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I couldn’t use my food stamps at the grocery store today. I was wearing my leather jacket, and Ted was at the checkout. In more prosperous days and when I was married, Ted once asked me if I knew of any girls he could date. He also checked me in at the polls on Election [...]
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Job hunting is a full-time job. So is keeping creditors at bay. The two creditors you don’t want outside your door are the IRS, the District of Columbia or any state that collects taxes. I stay a good doobie for these two creditors, even if I have to pay a late fee. I don’t imagine customer [...]
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Darn. I missed Bailout Bill of Bailoutbooth.com. He came to town recently to hand out money in return for a sob story. I read about him in the paper and gave fleeting thought to hopping on the bus and standing in line. I’m glad I didn’t. Turns out, folks waited hours, and all Bill handed [...]
Monday, April 20, 2009
I entered a contest today to win a dream date with President Clinton, and I can enter as many times as I want. Bill is set as the default prize option on Hillary’s website (yes, still his wife) when you visit HillaryClinton.com to help her retire her campaign debt from last year’s presidential election. Seems to [...]
Saturday, April 11, 2009
So last night I was downstairs when I heard a knock on the door and then the rattle of the mail slot. I thought oh, f—k, a process server. I can’t face it. I ran upstairs to look out the window but couldn’t see anyone or a vehicle that might belong to them. Filled with [...]
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
“Hey,” called my ex from the kitchen. “Can I come in [your apartment]?” Reminder: I’m living with my ex because we’re both out of work and can’t afford our own places. Lucky for the kids but not so much for hoochie coochie. That’s how you say it, right? My love life is in a deep recession, too.
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Sunday, May 31, 2009
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